Cancer Post #6- Through Surgery and Beyond- The Me I'll Never Be
I am 4 weeks post surgery. Today I was cleared to walk further than a mile so I soaked up the sun and walked 3. Only 2 more weeks before I am allowed to run again and it continues to take all that is in me to not break out into a sprint. I want more than anything to be ‘me’ again. It has been 7 painfully long months and as I turn the corner and begin to heal physically, I am realizing with a great level of sadness that I will never really get to be ‘me’ again. It reminded me of a journal entry I wrote near the start of all of this called Goodbye Old Friend. Goodbye Old Friend (9/27/23 journal entry)- Day before Chemo Began, It feels like I am saying goodbye to an old friend. To someone I have grown comfortable with, accustomed to. To a friend who traveled through the ins and outs and ups and downs of life and shared my deepest longings and dreams. Goodbye to the friend I sometimes catch a glimpse of and grin unknowingly. As though I am on the outside looking in, watching