Cancer Post #8- Is the End the End?
Here we are, wrapping up another summer as we gear up for the fall. Lately I have been lingering in the sunlight every chance I get trying to bottle up every last ounce of warmth in preparation for winter’s cold months that lie ahead. As I approach the one year anniversary of the day my world was forever changed, my mind lingers there which leaves me feeling unsettled and strange. In many ways, this entire past year still feels like an out of body experience. I long for what once was, knowing it will never be again, hesitant to allow myself to believe too far into the future. It feels self protecting, but it is likely not. It’s a loop that some days I go round and round on, and other days, by the grace of God, I can step out of and breath again. God has been present in my pain and confusion. Often, He did not feel present but even when I had no words to pray I knew He was there, still loving and still working. He was still my God even if he felt like a God I no longer understo