The Winter of 2018
I haven’t written for months now and here is why: It’s been a winter. A long, cold, germ-filled winter and my eyes have never been so ready to see spring before. My contentment tank arrow has been sitting on low now for a few solid months, occasionally dipping into empty. Spring come soon. My pride and love for the Midwest has been challenged this year. But first, let me back up a bit and explain how quickly my perspective can become fuzzy.
After a sunshine filled week spent in beautiful San Diego with my husband and good friends in February, we landed back into the dead of winter and what was about to be a not-so-fun next few weeks. Between vomit, high fevers, and bouts of explosive diarrhea (sorry new couch), the Behnke clan has failed to all attend a single full week of school for going on 6 weeks now.
Along with this cold-snap and flu-snap and skipping-spring-snap, contentment has not been my middle name. My daily prayer has become... “Lord, move us somewhere warm…..or at least give me a month of not having to make an emergency run for Lysol wipes or extra toilet paper. “
In the midst of what I may now refer to as “THAT winter of 2018” I was offered a job that was a seemingly perfect match for me other than the fact I wasn't exactly looking for a job. In between feverish kids, canceled plans (which did not add to my confidence of being able to pull off the “working Mom” idea), and an upcoming summer home with kids, my head and heart were spinning. I wrestled with the decision and logistics of accepting the position and the reality of walking into an entirely new season of life.
It was a roller coaster of emotion, excitement, and anticipation (all while tending to loads of sick-kid laundry mind you) but we came to a decision. I would take the job…...only, I wouldn’t, because only hours after calling to accept the position, a clear schedule conflict surfaced and with it brought the clarity I had been searching for. I called and turned down the job only hours later. (awkward, I know!).
This whole month plus has left me feeling kind of “Blah.” Blah about the day to day, Blah about motherhood, Blah about the Midwest, Blah about my faith….just “Blah Blah Blah.” (which just happens to be my 7 year old's favorite catch phrase these days) Discouragement can be so easy to let in sometimes and so hard to let out again.
I’ve heard that one of the keys to letting go of discouragement and discontentment is to focus on the good. That can be harder at times than others, but if I focus on one thing at a time, my list grows. Start to see the good and you’ll see the good! (Go figure.)
This winter I’m grateful for….
A husband who showed up with countless coffees (closet coffee snob), flowers, and adjusted his work schedule on multiple occasions.
For texts and calls from friends and family to check in and bring a smile.
For the basket of meals left on my doorstep...along with the bottle of wine.
For the extra time I got to spend just sitting with my kids.
For a flexible schedule.
For Netflix and Kindles. (Thank you Jesus!)
For my hippie medicine bag full of oils, supplements, and other things that brought comfort.
For extra time to read, reflect, and journal.
For a constant reminder to wipe down light switches and door knobs.
For a washer and dryer...and indoor plumbing on that note!
I could keep going but you get the picture. Being grateful and choosing to focus on the good even in the difficult, is powerful and puts things back into perspective. Hopefully I will be quicker to remember that in the future because it's a much better way to live.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 The Message (MSG)
16-18 Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
After a sunshine filled week spent in beautiful San Diego with my husband and good friends in February, we landed back into the dead of winter and what was about to be a not-so-fun next few weeks. Between vomit, high fevers, and bouts of explosive diarrhea (sorry new couch), the Behnke clan has failed to all attend a single full week of school for going on 6 weeks now.
Along with this cold-snap and flu-snap and skipping-spring-snap, contentment has not been my middle name. My daily prayer has become... “Lord, move us somewhere warm…..or at least give me a month of not having to make an emergency run for Lysol wipes or extra toilet paper. “
In the midst of what I may now refer to as “THAT winter of 2018” I was offered a job that was a seemingly perfect match for me other than the fact I wasn't exactly looking for a job. In between feverish kids, canceled plans (which did not add to my confidence of being able to pull off the “working Mom” idea), and an upcoming summer home with kids, my head and heart were spinning. I wrestled with the decision and logistics of accepting the position and the reality of walking into an entirely new season of life.
It was a roller coaster of emotion, excitement, and anticipation (all while tending to loads of sick-kid laundry mind you) but we came to a decision. I would take the job…...only, I wouldn’t, because only hours after calling to accept the position, a clear schedule conflict surfaced and with it brought the clarity I had been searching for. I called and turned down the job only hours later. (awkward, I know!).
This whole month plus has left me feeling kind of “Blah.” Blah about the day to day, Blah about motherhood, Blah about the Midwest, Blah about my faith….just “Blah Blah Blah.” (which just happens to be my 7 year old's favorite catch phrase these days) Discouragement can be so easy to let in sometimes and so hard to let out again.
I’ve heard that one of the keys to letting go of discouragement and discontentment is to focus on the good. That can be harder at times than others, but if I focus on one thing at a time, my list grows. Start to see the good and you’ll see the good! (Go figure.)
This winter I’m grateful for….
A husband who showed up with countless coffees (closet coffee snob), flowers, and adjusted his work schedule on multiple occasions.
For texts and calls from friends and family to check in and bring a smile.
For the basket of meals left on my doorstep...along with the bottle of wine.
For the extra time I got to spend just sitting with my kids.
For a flexible schedule.
For Netflix and Kindles. (Thank you Jesus!)
For my hippie medicine bag full of oils, supplements, and other things that brought comfort.
For extra time to read, reflect, and journal.
For a constant reminder to wipe down light switches and door knobs.
For a washer and dryer...and indoor plumbing on that note!
I could keep going but you get the picture. Being grateful and choosing to focus on the good even in the difficult, is powerful and puts things back into perspective. Hopefully I will be quicker to remember that in the future because it's a much better way to live.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 The Message (MSG)
16-18 Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
Comments
Post a Comment