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One True Love





I have mentored many middle school girls over the years and it seems like somewhere between 7th and 8th grade most  become what I refer to as “boy crazy” to one degree or another. 

The excited giggles…
The hushed secrets of who likes who….

It’s a season of excitement, curiosity, and let’s face it, a whole lot of preteen awkwardness, but I value it.  This is often when the questions come and I find myself with the precious opportunity to speak into a life.  

With today’s culture full of romantic comedies and reality TV we are often left misguided seeking after something that doesn’t exist.  

That One True Love.

The majority of Americans grow up hearing  this notion that there is one true love out there for everyone and destiny will do everything in it’s power  to bring them together.  We begin to believe it is real, drawn to its beauty and mystery,  gripping a thread of hope that our fairytale will come true. 
  
I don’t believe in one true love or what many call a" soulmate".  When I share this with these love- struck giddy middle school girls they look at me like I have clearly gone off the deep end. 

True, I am happily married and love my husband more than words can say.  We compliment each other’s strengths and weakness, we laugh together, dream together, and  grow together.  I am a better person for having him in my life and I honestly can’t imagine life without him.  Why then, would I say that I don’t believe in the concept of “one true love” when it may appear from the outside that I am living proof? 
 
Believing in one true love sets you up for disappointment.
Your perfect match does not exist.  No one is flawless and if that realization doesn’t sink in before marriage, it will after.  If believing in a soulmate means that perfect person is a reality, it’s only logical to come to the conclusion that a mistake was made and you must have married the wrong person.   This can lead to a life of relational resentment, discontentment and unfulfilled longing.

Believing in one true love can instill an overall sense of fear.
When all of your stock is in one person you will go to great lengths to try and control things out of your control to keep them safe.  The thought of losing them is too much to bear.   You find yourself in a constant state of worry and fear because if this person is your one true love, life would come to a devastating and hopeless halt if something were to happen to them.  Fear and worry take hold and control. 

I hope over the years I have caused a few of these precious preteen girls to view the concept of finding that one true love through a different lens.  That maybe  they can see through some of the glamor and empty promises culture constantly places in their path and realize that a prince charming fairytale ending is just that, a fairytale.

noun: fairytale:  A children's story about magical and imaginary beings and lands.  Denoting something regarded as resembling a fairy story in being magical, idealized, or extremely happy.  A fabricated story, especially one intended to deceive.”

What about you?  Do you believe in the concept of “one true love”?  How have you seen that affect yourself or others around you?
 

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