One True Love
I have mentored many middle school girls over the years and
it seems like somewhere between 7th and 8th grade most become what I refer to as “boy crazy” to one
degree or another.
The excited giggles…
The hushed secrets of who likes who….
It’s a season of excitement, curiosity, and let’s face it, a
whole lot of preteen awkwardness, but I value it. This is often when the questions come and I
find myself with the precious opportunity to speak into a life.
With today’s culture full of romantic comedies and reality
TV we are often left misguided seeking after something that doesn’t exist.
That One True Love.
The majority of Americans grow up hearing this notion that there is one true love out
there for everyone and destiny will do everything in it’s power to bring them together. We begin to believe it is real, drawn to its
beauty and mystery, gripping a thread of
hope that our fairytale will come true.
I don’t believe in one true love or what many call a" soulmate". When I share this with
these love- struck giddy middle school girls they look at me like I have
clearly gone off the deep end.
True, I am happily married and love my husband more than
words can say. We compliment each
other’s strengths and weakness, we laugh together, dream together, and grow together.
I am a better person for having him in my life and I honestly can’t
imagine life without him. Why then, would
I say that I don’t believe in the concept of “one true love” when it may appear
from the outside that I am living proof?
Believing in one true love sets you up for disappointment.
Your perfect match does
not exist. No one is flawless and if
that realization doesn’t sink in before marriage, it will after. If believing in a soulmate means that perfect
person is a reality, it’s only logical to come to the conclusion that a mistake
was made and you must have married the wrong person. This can lead to a life of relational resentment,
discontentment and unfulfilled longing.
Believing in one
true love can instill an overall sense of fear.
When all of your
stock is in one person you will go to great lengths to try and control things
out of your control to keep them safe. The
thought of losing them is too much to bear. You find yourself in a constant state of worry and
fear because if this person is your one true love, life would come to a devastating
and hopeless halt if something were to happen to them. Fear and worry take hold and control.
I hope over the years I have caused a few of these precious
preteen girls to view the concept of finding that one true love through a
different lens. That maybe they can see through some of the glamor and
empty promises culture constantly places in their path and realize that a prince
charming fairytale ending is just that, a fairytale.
noun: fairytale: A children's story about magical and imaginary
beings and lands. Denoting something
regarded as resembling a fairy story in being magical, idealized, or extremely
happy. A fabricated story, especially
one intended to deceive.”
What about you? Do
you believe in the concept of “one true love”?
How have you seen that affect yourself or others around you?
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