Sleep (or lack there of)
"You'll be tired" they said.... "You will fall into bed at night exhausted" they claimed. And I, in my week long preperation of become a parent, smiled and nodded although I thought otherwise. Why I predicted I would be the exception is beyond me.
We skipped the infant "sleepless nights" stage (bless you saints out there who have survived it) but even so with 3 kiddos emerging out of the toddler stage I find myself yawning though most days and consider it an accomplishment if I am able to form a full sentence by the end of the night. The thought of sleeping through the night or sleeping in feels like a thing of the past and a future far off.
What has surprised me most about the new bags that have landed under my eyes is the emotion and lies that follow closely behind. Most of which are unrealistic expectations I place on myself and myself only. These lies whisper things like... "A GOOD Mom.....
.....isn't tired.
..... has energy to play with her kids constantly.
......is able to complete her To-Do list each day with room to spare.
...... has enough energy and enthusiasm left for her husband once the kids are in bed.
......doesn't miss any of those "moments" we are constantly being told to live in.
.....is put together each and every day- bra, makeup, and "real pants" included.
"And guess what?" says that sneaky little voice, "you are none of those things most days. Therefore, you must not be ENOUGH."
Lies, all lies.
I SHOULD be tired and a hot mess more often than not. I am in a season where I have multiple little people totally dependent on me 24'7 with an overwhelming To-Do list. Just yesterday I was with a group of 5 other "mom" friends and as we shared how life was going and how we could be praying for one another, all 5of us expressed feeling tired, exhausted, and/or overwhelmed. I secretly rejoiced. I am not alone in this and neither are you.
I am reminded in the midst of those "missed moments" and terrible hair days, God often does his best work. If I choose to push those lies aside and mark them for what they are (hint: lies!), THIS can be a season of newness. Full of refining, character building, and self reflection. A unique opportunity to give more than you take and love when you'd rather scowl. It's a season of dependence (for me, on God) because where else can I turn? He has always proven himself faithful.
This time in my life will define who I am becoming- the kind of woman I will be when rest is once again restored.
As tired as I am most days, that thought alone brings excitement and anticipation. Not only as to what is to come, but what I am becoming if I choose to lean into it and allow God to lead me through.
Isaiah 43:19 NLT " See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
We skipped the infant "sleepless nights" stage (bless you saints out there who have survived it) but even so with 3 kiddos emerging out of the toddler stage I find myself yawning though most days and consider it an accomplishment if I am able to form a full sentence by the end of the night. The thought of sleeping through the night or sleeping in feels like a thing of the past and a future far off.
What has surprised me most about the new bags that have landed under my eyes is the emotion and lies that follow closely behind. Most of which are unrealistic expectations I place on myself and myself only. These lies whisper things like... "A GOOD Mom.....
.....isn't tired.
..... has energy to play with her kids constantly.
......is able to complete her To-Do list each day with room to spare.
...... has enough energy and enthusiasm left for her husband once the kids are in bed.
......doesn't miss any of those "moments" we are constantly being told to live in.
.....is put together each and every day- bra, makeup, and "real pants" included.
"And guess what?" says that sneaky little voice, "you are none of those things most days. Therefore, you must not be ENOUGH."
Lies, all lies.
I SHOULD be tired and a hot mess more often than not. I am in a season where I have multiple little people totally dependent on me 24'7 with an overwhelming To-Do list. Just yesterday I was with a group of 5 other "mom" friends and as we shared how life was going and how we could be praying for one another, all 5of us expressed feeling tired, exhausted, and/or overwhelmed. I secretly rejoiced. I am not alone in this and neither are you.
I am reminded in the midst of those "missed moments" and terrible hair days, God often does his best work. If I choose to push those lies aside and mark them for what they are (hint: lies!), THIS can be a season of newness. Full of refining, character building, and self reflection. A unique opportunity to give more than you take and love when you'd rather scowl. It's a season of dependence (for me, on God) because where else can I turn? He has always proven himself faithful.
This time in my life will define who I am becoming- the kind of woman I will be when rest is once again restored.
As tired as I am most days, that thought alone brings excitement and anticipation. Not only as to what is to come, but what I am becoming if I choose to lean into it and allow God to lead me through.
Isaiah 43:19 NLT " See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
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