Things I Learned from Mom
Every once in a while I wake up in the middle of the night and despite my best effort to fall back asleep before the sun and my children rise I simply cannot. Despite the frustration of missing out on a goods night rest, those quiet moments in the middle of the night tend to often be the times when I do my best thinking.
Everything is still.....
and dark...
my mind and body are relaxed.....
It's a time where my soul can simply just be.
Last night was one of those nights and as I sat there in the early dawn of my third Mother's Day as a "Mom", I began to reflect on my own Mother and who I am because of her. Like a lot of Moms, she sacrificed and loved, doing her best to navigate the ever changing demands that her role placed on her.
Looking back, I realize that some of the subtle decisions my Mom made for our family were simply not the norm and the patterns those decisions established are in a lot ways, central to who I've become and am becoming as a Mom myself.
* Home Cooked Meals were an everyday, around the table, occurrence. When it would have been easier to throw a TV Dinner at us to comply with all of our different schedules she chose not to, communicating that family connection matters and laying the foundation for good nutrition.
* Mom's relationship with Dad came first. Even though Mom loved my brother and I whole- heartedly, she didn't make us the center of her universe. My parents made time for each other through our growing up years and showed us what a healthy, loving husband-wife relationship looks like.
* Mom's emphasis wasn't on outward beauty. I remember my Mom putting on make-up and getting dressed up for special occasions and rarely for the day to day. This unknowingly shaped my confidence in who I am apart from what I look like.
* I never had a curfew through those high school years unlike most of my friends. My parents decided to trust us until we gave them a reason not to. We knew what "too late" was (like the old saying goes, nothing good happens after midnight) and would simply call with updates if we knew something would be in question.
* Education wasn't of top priority and importance in our home. I never felt like I wasn't good enough when I came home with a report card full of B's (and heaven forbid C's!) and was occasionally allowed to stay home and enjoy a "mental health day". My parents didn't push me into a specific college or career choice but allowed me the space to make my own decisions and dreams.
* My Mom taught me how to shop for less. Many 'a' Sunday afternoons while my brother and Dad were cheering on the Packers my Mom and I would sneak away for an afternoon shopping trip. She taught me the in's and out's of never paying full price and established a pattern in my spending habits that have carried over to benefit me in real life.
* My voice mattered and my Mom always seemed to be available to talk, or most of the time, just listen. Through much of middle school and high school I would come home from school, grab a snack, and pull up a chair as I chattered endlessly about my day as she cooked dinner. I knew I could talk to her about anything and she made me feel like what I said had value.
* Faith was important. Growing up, my Dad worked shift work meaning often on Sunday mornings my Mom was a "single Mom". While I am sure it would have been easier to not get my brother and I up, dressed, and out the door for church each week she faithfully made it a priority.
Even now, in a season of life where my Mom is more of my "friend" than my Mom, she continues to inspire me with the way she chooses to live her life. She seems to be continually putting others first whether it's running a friend to an appointment or helping with a project. She mentors a group of young Mom's at her church each week caring, encouraging, and loving. Her love for my Dad has only grown over the decades and now watching her as a Grandma to my kiddos warms my heart.
So today, I am especially grateful for the way she has lived and "mothered" and that I get to call her my Mom.
Everything is still.....
and dark...
my mind and body are relaxed.....
It's a time where my soul can simply just be.
Last night was one of those nights and as I sat there in the early dawn of my third Mother's Day as a "Mom", I began to reflect on my own Mother and who I am because of her. Like a lot of Moms, she sacrificed and loved, doing her best to navigate the ever changing demands that her role placed on her.
Looking back, I realize that some of the subtle decisions my Mom made for our family were simply not the norm and the patterns those decisions established are in a lot ways, central to who I've become and am becoming as a Mom myself.
* Home Cooked Meals were an everyday, around the table, occurrence. When it would have been easier to throw a TV Dinner at us to comply with all of our different schedules she chose not to, communicating that family connection matters and laying the foundation for good nutrition.
* Mom's relationship with Dad came first. Even though Mom loved my brother and I whole- heartedly, she didn't make us the center of her universe. My parents made time for each other through our growing up years and showed us what a healthy, loving husband-wife relationship looks like.
* Mom's emphasis wasn't on outward beauty. I remember my Mom putting on make-up and getting dressed up for special occasions and rarely for the day to day. This unknowingly shaped my confidence in who I am apart from what I look like.
* I never had a curfew through those high school years unlike most of my friends. My parents decided to trust us until we gave them a reason not to. We knew what "too late" was (like the old saying goes, nothing good happens after midnight) and would simply call with updates if we knew something would be in question.
* Education wasn't of top priority and importance in our home. I never felt like I wasn't good enough when I came home with a report card full of B's (and heaven forbid C's!) and was occasionally allowed to stay home and enjoy a "mental health day". My parents didn't push me into a specific college or career choice but allowed me the space to make my own decisions and dreams.
* My Mom taught me how to shop for less. Many 'a' Sunday afternoons while my brother and Dad were cheering on the Packers my Mom and I would sneak away for an afternoon shopping trip. She taught me the in's and out's of never paying full price and established a pattern in my spending habits that have carried over to benefit me in real life.
* My voice mattered and my Mom always seemed to be available to talk, or most of the time, just listen. Through much of middle school and high school I would come home from school, grab a snack, and pull up a chair as I chattered endlessly about my day as she cooked dinner. I knew I could talk to her about anything and she made me feel like what I said had value.
* Faith was important. Growing up, my Dad worked shift work meaning often on Sunday mornings my Mom was a "single Mom". While I am sure it would have been easier to not get my brother and I up, dressed, and out the door for church each week she faithfully made it a priority.
Even now, in a season of life where my Mom is more of my "friend" than my Mom, she continues to inspire me with the way she chooses to live her life. She seems to be continually putting others first whether it's running a friend to an appointment or helping with a project. She mentors a group of young Mom's at her church each week caring, encouraging, and loving. Her love for my Dad has only grown over the decades and now watching her as a Grandma to my kiddos warms my heart.
So today, I am especially grateful for the way she has lived and "mothered" and that I get to call her my Mom.
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