When I Grow Up I Want to Be...

Next month I turn 33 and I can say with confidence that I still don’t really know what I want to be when I grow up.  My answer to that age old question has changed throughout the years.

As a child I wanted to be a “Disney princess voice.”  The fame and fortune without having to memorizing a long script or sing on stage in front of a large crowd seemed too good to be true. Plus, certainly a job like this would require a move to sunny Florida because obviously that is where all Disney princesses live.

Then high school hit full force and the “What do you want to be when you grow up?” conversation took on a whole new level of seriousness and came at me from all angles.  My Disney princess answer no longer cut it.  The pressure to succeed and have a mapped out plan was intense.  So much so, that it became difficult to hear or give any credit to that quiet voice rising within me that whispered “what if I want to be a wife and a mom?”  

But utter those words, out loud, to a world full of high expectations and sights set high on happiness/money? Not a chance.  

In High school we had to meet one on with the school counselor to map out an “after high school college plan”.   I decided to lay it out there for him as he peered over his glasses perched on the tip of his nose.  I told him my plan was to get married, have kids, and maybe be involved in ministry in my local church on some level.   I think he dropped his pen, fumbled over a few words, and then rephrased the question as though I hadn’t understood why exactly it was we were meeting.  “State school?  Private school? Or Technical college?”  I guess my answer didn’t fit neatly into any of the boxes he had to check off.  

Fast forward 17 years and my “career path” and “educational background” is one rabbit trail after another…. Bible college turned bartender license, turned technical college, turned Occupational Therapy Assistant turned Pastors wife and guess what?  Today I am “doing” what it was I sensed I wanted to do all those years ago.  I am a stay at home wife and mom.  “A household manager” as some of my friends like to call it.   

This year is the first year all three of my kids are in school all day everyday (let me hear a hallelujah!) and my “stay at home mom answer” is now met with the immediate assumption that I will go back to work again from most everyone. Some boldly state it out loud while others silently burn with the question “OK, so now what do you want to be when you grow up?”  

My answer has not really changed.  I still want to be a wife, a Mom, and my desire has not changed to be involved in ministry both inside the church walls and out.

 I am not living “the dream” I am living my dream.  The dreams and desires that God has set in my heart and called me to.  That dream may shift over the years and thankfully does not look the same for every woman. It's not a one size fits all.

I am thankful that for some women their desire is to be a Doctor or a teacher or the friendly cashier at the grocery store who’s kind words save me from tears as my kids knock over another food display.  

I believe God purposely gives different gifts, abilities, callings, and talents to different woman and for good reason.  He weaves it all together into a beautiful plan.  

I have three kids of my own and while most of the time I have no idea what I am doing,  my husband and I have been intentional about trying to speak truth (often against culture) in regards to this age old question of becoming.  We want them to dream, work hard, set goals and strive towards them but we want them to do so with a perspective shift.  

Maybe in a society laced with competition and self focus it’s time we start teaching our kids to ask the question “What job helps people to flourish?” instead of “What job will help me to flourish?”....

Or instead of asking them what they want to be when they grow up ask them how they think God might want to use that talent/gift/ability/interest someday?....

By taking the focus off of what they can do and replacing it with an expectation of what God can do through them as a result of that ability, the doors of possibility are opened wide for the Kingdom of God.  

That may involve a 4 year school, a Master’s degree,  or perhaps a Doctorate.  Maybe they will attend a technical school or Bible college.  Maybe they will end up with a certificate of some sort or decide to  stay at home and love and care for those in their path.

Regardless, my hope for children and myself is that with each day three things will be true and evidently displayed in our lives as we continue this process of becoming:

A love for God.  

A love  for others.

A willingness to obey when He asks.  

Obedience and love often open the door to contentment and purpose.  When God is mixed into that equation, you can  always expect immeasurably more.  I am excited to continue to see what the future holds not only for my children as they progress towards that “when I grow up” stage, but for myself as well because I don’t think you ever grow out of the process of becoming.

* If your in the mood for a challenging documentary on the pressure that is put on our children in regards to academic success, watch Race to Nowhere. It's on Netflix.