From Good to Better Series- Intro

What is a mid-life crisis exactly and why do I feel like I’ve skimmed the edge of one this year?  A lot had changed over the past 6 years for me.  We brought our 3 kids home rather quickly and unexpectedly, resulting in a complete blur as life turned itself upside down and then right side up again.  I went from the working world, to walking alongside my husband during an incredibly sweet ministry season, to full time Mom which at times left me deeply questioning who I was and would someday be again.  Then there was the unexpected move “back to our hometown” although “home” was now the place we had  planted roots and created our family.  An incredibly bittersweet move despite the clarity to go.

Since then a season of settling has occurred.  My kids are now all in school full days, we have adjusted, decorated, and grown.  As the dust has settled these past few months, my heart has stirred.  If I were being honest with you, I would admit that I have quietly been walking through a dark and difficult season of the heart lately. I won’t get into it fully, but the questions I have been asking myself about purpose, loss, life, and faith are new to me and have been met with what has felt like silence and confusion. As these moments become a norm in my day to day, it  has become easier to believe lies about myself and God.  Most days, I've felt upside down and inside out.  

In the process, I’ve gone silent on my blog this summer, feeling a pivotal moment in my life and faith just around the corner with no idea what that might be. My heart has begun to long for change of some sort, internally or externally, I am not sure which or maybe for both.   I've felt discontent in a season I know I should feel joy and security.

So what is that called?....A crisis of faith?....A crossroads?...A mid-life crisis (at age 34?)...or maybe, just maybe, it’s God on the brink of doing a new thing in my life.  

As strange as this summer has been for me, it’s been good in a growing sense. It’s been a compilation of quiet times with the Lord, conversations with close friends, of processing with my husband, of podcasts and books and of asking God and myself some really difficult questions.  However, the Lord has been faithful through it all.  He has patiently listened to me and has replaced those desperate feelings with a newfound sense of excitement and anticipation.  Through the sorting of all those things, a spiritual question has appeared on the surface of my thoughts, sticking there, holding on for an answer:

Do I believe that God’s principles for life are not JUST good, but actually a BETTER way to live? In theory that sounds great and my Sunday School answer is a YES,  but on a personal level, do I REALLY believe that about MY life?...  Sometimes, yes, but a lot of times, no. 

How do I go from simply believing His ways are not only right, but actually a better way to live?  After some thought and prayer on this question, I think my answer is basic.  Try it.  Test it out.  Wait. Observe. Listen and Learn.    


Over the next 3 months, I’ve mapped out three areas of my life I will focus on, test out, and then I plan to share on my blog with as much rawness and transparency as possible.  The three areas I will put to the test are: Simplicity (September), Generosity (October), and Spirituality (November). 

 This may seem unnatural or maybe a bit over the top,  but I’m really feeling a nudge to test these basic principles in my own life and see where I land.  Some are more "spiritual" than others, but all push towards a quest for clarity.  I don’t want to just go through life’s motions only to look back someday with complacency,  but I want to  instead, “take hold of life which is truly life” (Matthew 6:19).