Mom Fail

If you saw me at Aldi on Sunday afternoon,  frantically pushing a cart through the store trying to wrangle in three energetic kids, I apologize.  It was ugly.  You know the kind of trip I am talking about (and if you don’t, bless you).  It was a cherry tomatoes sprawled throughout the cart, kids oblivious we are shoulder to shoulder with other shoppers crammed into a tiny aisle, sold out of eggs (I wish I were joking), belly flop on the bagging counter sort of trip.  

Oh, but the fun did not end at the checkout… “mam, these bananas are bad, feel free to drag your three already out of control kids back through the grocery store all the way to the far corner we call produce, and pick up some new ones on your way out.”  ...Don’t lose it...don’t lose it….

Nor did it end once we got to the van only to realize I had grabbed the wrong thing and had to drag the clan BACK into the store and BACK in line to do an exchange which required a manager to come as eyes burned into the back of my head from the people behind.

My dear, sweet, three little souls had once again pushed their Mama over the edge, and I didn’t care who was there to witness it.  

There was yelling- shaming- and absolutes declared for all to hear.

“What was I THINKING bringing you all here with me AT ONCE?”

“I will NEVER, EVER, So help me God, EVER shop with all three of you at the same time again!

 

“Stop pounding on the one way glass window into the store managers’ office...NOW!”  

“Step away from the automated door and let the long line of carts that have accumulated through. Did you hear me?...MOVE?!”

“Put your hand on the cart and under no circumstance, will you take it off and if you do I swear to you, I  will GLUE your sweet little hands directly to it!!!!”  

I mean, people, it was BAD.  

They pushed every, single, button, I had.  

I was done.  

I was frazzled.

Crazy-Mom was back in town.  

I did recover upon arriving home, after some time in their rooms was had and an over dramatized version of the tale was told to my husband.  But the ordeal left me feeling bad.  I am the adult here,  why can’t I just pull myself together and calmly get through a trip to the grocery store?  

The next morning I literally ran into my neighbor while out on a jog and joined her as she finished the block.  She is a Momma to two kiddos and was recovering from a rough Monday morning full of early morning wake ups and attitudes.  As she recanted her tale back to me, and the “why can’t I just respond calmly” theme began to emerge, I was practically jumping up and down.  “GIRL, I can SO RELATE!!!”  as my recent grocery trip fail tumbled from my mouth.

Then she said something that stopped me in my tracks and got me thinking.  She told me it was SO encouraging to hear that someone as “mild mannered” as myself (or so I appear) has those “Mommy is losing it” moments too - that as women, we so often hide our imperfections  and when “life happens” we feel like we are the only ones losing it!  

We feel alone.

I am here today to tell you: you are not alone.  

You are not the only Mom who fails from time to time. (or in my case, from time to time to time to time….) There is no perfect Mom despite what Facebook or Instagram would like you to believe.  

It’s hard sometimes.  

It’s suppose to be.  

You will probably never fully measure up to your “ideal” of the perfect Mom we all strive to be.  

The good news is, you don’t have to.  

*The key is Jesus, and  He is more than enough.

He has entrusted you with the children that you have.  He chose YOU for THEM, imperfections and all. He wants to use you to grow them- to be a real life display of Jesus in their lives AND He wants to use them to bless and grow you in ways you never thought possible.   

Sometimes it feels like our kids solely need us but in all reality, what if we really need our kids and all the challenges parenting brings to grow us more into the woman God created us to be?

HIs ways are truly higher.  -Isaiah 55:8-9

For me personally, God has been doing a huge work in me since becoming a “Mommy”.  He has been stretching and growing me- revealing things that I honestly didn’t realize were there.  He has shown me my great need for Him in my everyday life and as I have gone to Him, day after day, often weary and so over life,  He has restored me and changing me from the inside out as only He can do.  

I want my life to be a natural overflow of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. (see Gal 5:22)  Not a result of willing myself to be those things- but as a result of WHO He is molding me to be.  

I am still a work in progress (clearly, as proven above!) BUT I am a work in progress, God’s work in progress.  And because of that, I have hope for the present life (train-wreck grocery shopping trips and all) AND hope for the future.    

*”The key is Jesus” meaning a personal relationship with Him.  YES, you can have that. (Acts 2:21)  NO, it’s not based on how “good” you are.(Ephesians 2:8-9)  It’s all about Jesus, coming to earth, living a perfect life, and dying in our place. (John 3:16)  He makes a way to the Father FOR US.  “If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”  Romans 10:9.